Inconceivable.

Ex-Enron CEO Kenneth Lay Pleads Innocent. WTF? I thought you could only plead "guilty" or "not guilty." Oh, wait, the article describes him as pleading "not guilty" (although the story still describes his plea as "innocent.") The plea hasn't changed; why are we not using the right words? "i-n-n-o-c-e-n-t" only has two fewer characters than "n-o-t g-u-i-l-t-y." And "Israel May Discuss Making Mideast Nuclear-Free Zone" is a much longer headline.

Shame, shame, everybody knows your name. I know it's not a new tactic. I realize that it's probably been used by pols of all parties. But when the Republicans kept the vote open for 15 extra minutes so that the amendment to the PATRIOT (you have to capitalize it; it's an acronym) Act be defeated -- after getting 10 or so House members to change their votes -- I have to join the Dems in hollering "Shame!" Lawmaking and opera viewing, in general, could benefit from a little more hearty rowdiness.

Scoff on, vile fiend and shameless courtezan! Lately, I've been watching television with the closed-captioning turned on. It's a habit I picked up from my friend M. and her husband, who have a toddler and who often watch television this way once he's gone to bed. The quality of the captioning varies from show to show and station to station. What fascinates me most, I think, are the stage directions. Most of them have to do with some kind of breath -- breathing, sighing, exhaling, and usually "audibly." My favorite, however, is "[scoffs]". "Scoff," you say? What is this? How did that person "speak derisively, mock, [or] jeer," when it looks like all she did was sneeze? Nay, the word the captioners want is of course "snort" -- i.e., "express contempt or indignation by a snorting sound." It falls right in with all their audible breathing, exhaling and sighing. While "[scoffs]" definitely suggests the right tone of derision, you still have to use words to scoff at something (unless you are, of course, a scofflaw, but that doesn't have anything to do with the respiratory system). Would people really be misled by "[snorts]"? One has to wonder...

(This is for those who didn't connect this entry's title and subject.)

Posted on July 08, 2004 to pure drivel

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